Happy 1st Birthday, Baby!

Our birthday miracle came true and here we are on September 30th, 2011 soaking in the joy of our daughter's birthday.  What an amazing feeling.  Completely indescribable.  It really isn't possible that just a week ago I was saying, "There's no way we'll have her referral in time for her birthday, but that's what I'm praying for anyway."  Then I'd back slide a little bit and pray, "Please Lord show us just a little bit more about where her paperwork is at in the process."

He looked at them intently and said, "Humanly speaking, it is impossible, But with God everything is possible!"  Matt 19:26


And here we are just a few days later and we have been reminded over and over that NOTHING is impossible to Him who loves us more than we could ever imagine.  I feel it tonight.  I feel love like its running through ever vein in my body.  Life is so very good, but there's that little twinge of "I want more...I want her here with us NOW! that's lingering today on her very special day.

We are just figuring out all the good stuff we need to know about China like geography, climate, time differences :) and because the time in China is 13 hours ahead of us here in the Central time zone Hope's birthday is already past (Boo).  However, last night we had a very special little celebration during what would've been just in time for Hope's party at her foster home.  Carl, the boys and I made two videos for Hope wishing her a happy birthday and telling her who we are and how very much we love her.  We got out the special birthday plate from the cupboard...

pulled out a banana cream pie (totally not homemade) and put a candle in the top...

and sang happy birthday to our daughter and new baby sister on her first birthday.  We quickly uploaded them to vimeo and ta-dah!  Hope was able to see her mommy and daddy for the first time on her 1st birthday.  Gives me goose bumps just thinking about it.  It probably always will.  We weren't able to get a package to her in time for her celebration but we know that there will be pictures coming soon of her at her party in a special birthday dress bought for her on our behalf.  This girl is loved, I tell ya!  Her cup is overflowing :)  I'll share her special party as soon as I see or hear something.

As if it wasn't a miracle enough that we know that we will be Hope's forever family on her 1st birthday, God reminded me of the seed he planted in my heart to adopt years ago earlier this week.  It never even dawned on me while I was praying so hard for a birthday miracle that God had shown me the miracle was already in motion years ago.

Look at this book...


About four years ago while on a trip to Madison to get Lincoln's hair cut we made a stop at the local Pamida and I was browsing through the bargain books bin and stumbled upon this book, "Every Year On Your Birthday."  I was instantly struck by the beautiful little Asian girl on the cover and quickly opened it to find a beautiful story written by an adoptive mother of a Chinese little girl and the thoughts and prayers that she prayed for her daughter every year on her birthday.  I bought the book and put it in my sewing room (the girliest room in our house) and have kept it there ever since.  I didn't even remember I had the book until Wednesday night when I was thinking about all of the ways God moved to put Hope in our lives (I wasn't sleeping...)  So when I woke up for good Thursday morning I ran downstairs to find the book and sit and cry as I read the pages.  Here are a few that hit me like a ton of bricks...

"Every year on your birthday I think about the day you were born, how the sun must have shone, or the moon looked so bright."

"I wasn't there, but I was thinking about you as I waited at home to be your new mother."

"Every year on your birthday, I think about the six Chinese girls who shared a big room with you in China.  They knew you before I did.  They are your first friends, like sisters, the ones who touched you and heard you cry and laugh for the first time."

""Every year on your birthday, we look up at the stars and remember your Chinese family.  They are a part of our family now, and I hope somehow they feel the magic of your love too."




There is so much of our birthday girl's story yet to unfold and yet God's handiwork is all over the place for us to enjoy as we go.

Its been a day of reflecting and joy and a few tears here and there.  I'm thinking about the mommy who carried Hope in her tummy.  She was the first person in the world who undoubtedly loved her with every fiber of her being.  She was the one who gave birth to her and faced the same shock and despair that I did just two short years ago.  She was the one fed her and loved her for at least a couple of days before making the ultimate sacrifice in g leaving her in God's hands on a chair outside the entrance to the pediatric ward of a hospital on October 4th, 2010.  My heart breaks for her because I know how she must have felt giving birth to such a beautiful angel.  I know the fear.  I know the heart break.  Oh, how I wish her mommy would've had a chance to feel the joy I feel today on this her birthday.  I pray that she's filled with hope about her daughter's future.  Hope's birth mama will always be in my prayers.  Never a day will go by that I'll take for granted that my joy in being Hope's mom began out of the despair of another.

Dear Hope,
Its your special day!  Happy 1st Birthday, baby girl :)  May your days be filled with love and happiness until we make our way to you.  It may seem like a long wait, but often times the best things in life are those we must wait for.  We consider it a privilege to wait to be your mommy and daddy, although its pretty hard because you're so very precious and we just wanna scoop you up and bring you home NOW!!  While you've not yet felt the warm of our hugs or heard that crazy laugh of your mama's on your birthday this year, there will be a time soon when you'll hear and feel and taste all the love you can imagine coming your way.  This birthday will be your last birthday without us, Hope!  May you always remember that you were fearfully and wonderfully made exactly as you are today and that God is in complete control of your life with his infinitely loving ways.  We prayed for a birthday miracle that you would know you have a mommy and a daddy on their way and we would know you were ours by September 30th...you birthday.  God gave you your miracle, baby girl, and he gave us ours too...YOU!

Love,
Mommy, Daddy, Lincoln & Sully