One Year Later

Its been one year since I wrote this post about one of the happiest days of my life.  September 27th, 2011...  What a glorious day that was!  Hope was matched with our family, just three days before her first birthday.  And now...on the eve of her 2nd birthday I can't help but think about all that she's brought to my life and how much it hurts to not have her wrapped up in my arms right now.  If life had gone the way I thought it was going to, I'm 99.9% positive that right this very moment I'd be putting the finishing touches on a ladybug-themed birthday party fit for my lil' love bug and marveling at what an amazing year its been.  Instead, I'm sitting here with a lifetime's worth of kleenex's in the garbage from the last 8 months.

I still believe so many of things I wrote in spite of the incredible pain that my loss of Hope has brought to my life.  I still believe that the official "match" of Hope to my family was miraculous.  I still believe that God's plan was for Hope to be my little girl, even if only for four short months.  I still believe that God is going to redeem the pain and loss in my life, and in Hope's, in glorious ways.  He already has redeemed the hurt in ways that still seem kinda small right now, but I trust that when I'm a bit further down the road in my healing I'll see just how God has weaved redemption in this journey of mine.  Oh, how I hope I see that day on this side of heaven!

It seems fitting that on the one year anniversary to my match with Hope that she would be on the other side of the world celebrating her 2nd birthday with a package from one of her sponsor families, the Beth Nagel family  :)

No, it wasn't her birthday on Sept. 27th...that's a couple days off, but they decided to celebrate early because her birthday just so happens to fall on a national holiday this year.  Just so happens...yeah right!  That was no coincidence.  I haven't seen the pictures yet, but if you look up New Day South on Facebook I'm sure they'll be posting some soon.

Its been such a blessing to watch Hope grow up at New Day.  Its bittersweet, but more sweet than bitter.  What a blessing to watch her personality develop and her beauty radiate from that precious little face I saw for the first time almost 18 months ago!  There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her and pray for her AND whoever her forever family may be.  I wonder if a day will ever go by that she won't cross my mind.  I doubt it.  You never forget your babies...and Hope will always be mine.