She Chose Life

Dear Birth Mother,
I know that today must be a very hard day for you.  I remember that day, too.  I remember how you held me and said goodbye.  I remember the scared look on your face and the tears that fell and kept coming.  I remember how you fed me and loved me those special days after I was born.  I know you did the only thing you could do for me out of love.  When I was placed on that chair, I know that you chose that special place carefully.  I'm sure you thought that the pediatric ward of the hospital was the only place that could bring me hope and a chance at life.  What a wonderful, careful choice you made!  I am so blessed!  You chose life for me, birth mother.  I am so grateful for you.  I am so grateful for this life you gave to me.  You may have thought that I had no chance of living because of my special skin.  You didn't know.  That's okay.  I'm going to grow up strong and healthy and absolutely beautiful.  God has wrapped me in his arms from the moment you couldn't hold me any longer.  I have a mommy coming for me and I am loved and cared for every day of my life.  People all around the world have prayed for me.  I know you have, too.  I know that today you're thinking of me and wondering what might have happened.  Oh, how my mommy wishes she could tell you the story and share with you the HOPE that I have because of God's powerful work in my life.  My mommy and daddy are on their way to bring me home.  They love me and know exactly how to take care of my skin because they have a little boy just like me and a big brother who I hear will be the best big brother in the world.  I can't wait to go home, but I will always know that you were my first mother...the one who chose life for me, the one who loved me first, the one who opened up a beautiful future of Hope for me by making the most difficult choice.  We are praying for you today, mother!  We hope that you know you are loved and cherished by me and the family I will soon call my own.
Love,
Xiang Fei
Hope Isabella Xiang Fei Nagel

Today marks one year ago when our daughter was found on a chair outside of the entrance to the pediatric ward of a hospital in the Guangdong Province of China.  I can only imagine what Hope's birth mother might have felt and experienced during the few short days she had with her child.  While Hope will have no memories of her birth mother, I'm sure that she will spend plenty of time in her life wondering about who she was and what brought about her decision.  I won't have answers to those questions, only guesses. These words may not be anything like what Hope will think and feel one day, but if she could talk today I wonder if this is what her letter to her birth mom might say.  The thoughts and feelings she has about her adoption and her birth family are for her to uncover herself, but I will always be quick to share the most important piece...her mother, her family, chose life for her.  I will always let her know that her mother's choice was a difficult one, but one that God has blessed richly with his love for her.  That is what I know.  I  will never know the details of what events led to our daughter's arrival in a hospital on October 4th, 2010 but I have hope that God has been and will continue to wrap her birth mother in His arms all the days of her life, just the way he's done for my baby girl.  That's what life is about...HOPE in Jesus Christ.

*The song playing on the blog today is in honor and thanksgiving for Hope's birth mother on this most difficult day for her.  Thank you is not enough for the gift of a child.  Thank you, Jesus for Hope!!