Its almost time...

Hope,

Its almost time.  Almost time for you to know exactly what I've prayed you would know for 20 long months, since the moment I first laid eyes on you.  You are going to feel and know the love of a family.  They have given you a new name, Sophie, and I'm sure it will suit you perfectly but I admit I'm having a hard time getting used to it. I hear that your new family will be coming for you soon after Christmas.  How exciting!  I would be lying if said I wasn't just a little sad.  I have loved watching you grow at New Day.  I have loved praying over you and enjoyed every minute I was able to call you "my" sponsor child.  There are two little boys in my house who still talk about "Hope." Lincoln has an extra special place in his heart for you and still can't look at a Target ad without picking out the girly things he wants to buy for "Hope" in China :) You've had a powerful impact on our hearts and our lives, little one.  Lincoln, Sully & I will never be the same because we've been blessed with the opportunity to love you.  What a gift!  I can't begin to imagine how excited your Mommy and Daddy must be as they wait these last few days to weeks until they wrap their arms around you, but I think about how wonderful that moment will be for you often.  I pray a beautiful future is laid out before you, sweet one.  May your life be filled with love and joy and maybe someday, in God's perfect timing and infinite wisdom,...some special nevus friends like Sully, Lincoln & I.

Love,

Beth

One Year Later

Its been one year since I wrote this post about one of the happiest days of my life.  September 27th, 2011...  What a glorious day that was!  Hope was matched with our family, just three days before her first birthday.  And now...on the eve of her 2nd birthday I can't help but think about all that she's brought to my life and how much it hurts to not have her wrapped up in my arms right now.  If life had gone the way I thought it was going to, I'm 99.9% positive that right this very moment I'd be putting the finishing touches on a ladybug-themed birthday party fit for my lil' love bug and marveling at what an amazing year its been.  Instead, I'm sitting here with a lifetime's worth of kleenex's in the garbage from the last 8 months.

I still believe so many of things I wrote in spite of the incredible pain that my loss of Hope has brought to my life.  I still believe that the official "match" of Hope to my family was miraculous.  I still believe that God's plan was for Hope to be my little girl, even if only for four short months.  I still believe that God is going to redeem the pain and loss in my life, and in Hope's, in glorious ways.  He already has redeemed the hurt in ways that still seem kinda small right now, but I trust that when I'm a bit further down the road in my healing I'll see just how God has weaved redemption in this journey of mine.  Oh, how I hope I see that day on this side of heaven!

It seems fitting that on the one year anniversary to my match with Hope that she would be on the other side of the world celebrating her 2nd birthday with a package from one of her sponsor families, the Beth Nagel family  :)

No, it wasn't her birthday on Sept. 27th...that's a couple days off, but they decided to celebrate early because her birthday just so happens to fall on a national holiday this year.  Just so happens...yeah right!  That was no coincidence.  I haven't seen the pictures yet, but if you look up New Day South on Facebook I'm sure they'll be posting some soon.

Its been such a blessing to watch Hope grow up at New Day.  Its bittersweet, but more sweet than bitter.  What a blessing to watch her personality develop and her beauty radiate from that precious little face I saw for the first time almost 18 months ago!  There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her and pray for her AND whoever her forever family may be.  I wonder if a day will ever go by that she won't cross my mind.  I doubt it.  You never forget your babies...and Hope will always be mine.

Goodbye to My Girl

I've known a goodbye would have to come.  I don't want to be saying goodbye.  Its not fair.  I didn't choose this goodbye.  I want to be welcoming you home, not saying goodbye. Bringing you home to be mine wasn't His plan like I had prayed for, pleaded for, longed for.  My hopes and dreams for you will never leave the place in my heart that you will always have.  Forever you'll be my princess, my China baby, my Hope Isabella Xiang Fei Nagel. Forever you'll be mine.  I may never meet you on this side of heaven, but I won't stop praying that I will.  I won't stop praying for you, Hope.  Never.  I won't stop loving you and remembering how I felt the moment I laid eyes on you, the incredible love I felt immediately.  I won't stop remembering... 

I will remember the way I knew you were a special polk-a-dotted baby just like Sully by the sweet little spots on your face.
I will remember the overwhelming joy I felt when I got my birthday miracle in your referral.
I will remember shopping for you and delighting in each and every moment I spent daydreaming about the room I'd make for you and I to enjoy together.
I will remember the wonder I had when I saw the sweet little spots on your precious toes, just like I did with your big brother.
I will remember the excitement in your brothers when they learned about bringing you home and how they grew to love you too.
I will remember the joy that your great grandpa Roling had in hearing that you would be mine.
I will remember buying your first baby doll and paying for it with tears in my eyes.
I will remember that Samantha led you to me.
I will remember praying over your paperwork and asking God to bless the paperwork pregnancy that would make you mine.
I will remember choosing your middle name and the beautiful story of the family who named you Hope before you were mine.
I will remember that God's plan for you is way bigger than mine was and it is GOOD!
I will remember the awe I felt in seeing God's hand on your life through the many people who prayed for you since your were a tiny baby, all inexplicably connected to carry out God's special plan for your life.
I will remember praying as I typed up the care manual for your birthmark to share with New Day so they would know how to care for your special skin.
I will remember asking God to prepare your heart and mine for this special journey we would share as mother and daughter.
I will remember celebrating every accomplishment in my adoption journey to you with my friends and family.
I will remember watching your Grandma D and Grandpa opening their hearts to you and loving you as their own in their words and actions.
I will remember every tear I've shed in your loss, all the sadness and the pain, trusting that God will use every single one of those tears for HIS glory.
I will remember September 30th, your birthday, as my daughter's birthday because you ARE my daughter, sweet one, and birthdays are a reason to celebrate!

There are so many things that I wish we could've done together, so many things I'm losing in saying goodbye to you but for you, sweet baby girl  I WILL... Be strong and courageous and do the work of His kingdom.  I WON'T be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, MY GOD, is with ME and with YOU.  He will not fail us or forsake us.  1 Chronicles 28:20

Someday I pray that God will show me why you weren't meant to be my baby girl, that He'll redeem this incredible pain I'm expereincing, that He'll lead me away from the anger that exists toward the sin that took you from me and toward forgiving the one whose choices took you from me.  I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you from the ugliness that has fallen on my boys and I.  If there was any way to bring you home on my own I would've.  Hope, you are so very loved.  So loved.  First by your birth mommy and now by me, your heart mommy.  In my heart, I'll ALWAYS, ALWAYS be your mommy, Hope.

Goodbye, Hope....my sweet, precious, most beautiful treasure. 



A family has submitted their letter of intent to adopt Hope.  They have not yet made contact with me, but I pray that they do.  If you know the family who has chosen my baby girl to be their very own, please contact me.  Although I will no longer be Hope's forever mama, I would love to be a part of Hope's life in some way no matter how small or how big.

In this time of saying goodbye, I plan to fill in the missing pieces of Hope's story that I've kept only in my heart until now.  Her story is not yet done so this blog will remain open in the mean time.  I ask that you pray for me, my children, and my parents as we grieve this incredible loss.

Full Term

It was almost exactly 9 months ago that I first became "pregnant."  So that means right now I'm full term.  Actually, I'm feeling every bit the miserable pregnant lady I was in August of 2006 and July of 2009 only this time my body doesn't feel like its going to explode...my heart does.  I've been loving on her sweet self for 9 whole months as God continued to work in and through us to the point we are today.  Just like Hope has never known the love of a mother and a father, we've never known love that her sweet kisses and hugs and laughter will bring us.  We already love her like CrAZy, but this pregnancy is far from over.  We know for sure that we're at least half way there, but any more speculation beyond that is nothing more than an educated guess based on averages.  If I go into "labor" early, she could be home in June.  If I'm way overdue, she may not make her debut as Hope Isabella Xiang Fei Nagel until...August (OUCH!!!!).  Either way, I feel full term and want nothing more than to be celebrating the Chinese New Year with her in China today. Xin nian kuai le! Happy Year of the Dragon!!  Bring on the "labor" pains and lets get this show on the road.  Next up?  Dossier to China (DTC)-expected to happen the first week in February.

(ps I totally copied the Mandarin from Facebook so if its incorrect, please forgive me...I've got a LONG way to go to figure out this Chinese culture stuff but I'm having fun learning as I go.)

Happy Birthday, Love Hope

I woke up this morning on my 31st birthday to many happy birthday messages, one of which quickly directed me to a new blog post about our special girl.  What a very special birthday gift!  Oh my goodness!!  Could a mama be any more blessed than to have my two little peanuts at home and this little one waiting on me!?!?  I don't think so.  Here's my narrative to the photos from the post about Hope...

"Hey, Mama!  Happy Birthday!  Would you believe that I already have a special place in my heart waiting for you to fill up?  I do...and it makes my heart smile THIS BIG to think that the time will be coming soon when it will be filled to overflowing!!"

"And mommy...I want you to know that I have something special for you for your birthday.  Here it is!  A great big smile just for you :)  Do you love it? Of course you do :)"

 

"I have to get serious now, mom, because I know its driving you crazy that you can't get on a plane to come get me today but don't worry.  They love me here and tell me that my family will love me even more.  I can't imagine all that love, but I will wait patiently because I know its going to be the best thing ever!"

But that doesn't mean you shouldn't hurry because I can't wait for all those hugs and kisses that mommy's and daddy's have to share.  Happy Birthday to YOU, mommy!"

Love, Hope 



"Checkitout"

Sully's latest phrase, which he produces as one word, is "CheckItOut!"  Its so cute how he says it and I'm sure he heard it somewhere.  Hmmm...  I wonder :)

CheckItOut seems appropriate because check out these mounds of paper all ready to finally leave US soil.  The last 7 months have been filled with all kinds of paperwork, approvals, invoices, post office visits, phone calls and growing love for a child we'll soon call our own.  And now all of that has turned into this...

And all of that will soon be on its way here...

Because Hope may not growing in my belly, but she's definitely growing in my heart and all that paperwork means one thing...

We're super close to having our Dossier sent to China and that means we're going to have baby!!!

"CheckItOut!"

Here and Gone

Our 797 made it into our hands this morning...

and now its gone again!  YES!!

This morning was somethin' else.  For the third day in a row, Sully's woken up with a fever of over 102 degrees.  He's so sick its just terrible.  I hate seeing him this way and I especially hate the worry that comes along with having a sick child who has tissue expanders in their body.  Ugh.  I had to go to work to tie up loose end, a phone training for Birth to 3 providers, sub plans, and more and then make it back home before Carl needed to leave for work. 

Carl's plan was to try and track down our mail man this morning, even if he hadn't yet delivered our mail, and see if we could get our mail a bit early.  We had a hunch today would be the day we would receive our the Approval Notice, known as the I-797, in the mail and we were right!  We quickly made a copy of the original and Carl took it to have it signed and notarized and then dropped it at the FedEx drop!  Now its off to Pierre to be certified at the Secretary of State's office.  If all goes well, we'll have it will be back here on Thursday and gone again...off to Washington, DC.  This is where there will be a little delay due to the Chinese New Year holiday coming very soon, but that's okay because we're getting SOOOO CLOSE to a HUGE milestone in this process.  Our DTC is right around the corner!!

Bring on the Recipes!

Bring on the recipes!!

My recipe collection for Hope's cookbook is well under way.  Thank you so much to all of you who have already contributed.  We have some super yummy recipes already!  I'm so excited.  Is the timing perfect to take on a project like this again? Mmmm.  No. Do doctors, hospitals, and insurance companies care about whether or not we have the time and money to pay them.  That's a big NO.  So this is where you come in.  We need your help!

Over the next three to four months, I'm going to be collecting holiday recipes AND brief write-ups about traditions that your family and friend may have for any holiday.  I would love to get as many recipes and/or traditions collected from all of you, Hope's family and friends, as possible. The more the merrier!!

Please send your recipes to me at my email address bethnagel@ymail.com or you can mail them to us directly at 413 W 8th St, Dell Rapids, SD 57022.

Many of you know the story of how we put together a fundraiser cookbook shortly after Sully was born to help pay for his medical and travel expenses, but I have many new friends from the adoption community who may not know anything about all that so here's a recap and a more clear explanation of what brings us to do another cookbook...this time for Hope medical and travel expenses.

As an overwhelmed mother to a newborn with a medical condition requiring lots of medical attention that could never have been anticipated, I looked for ideas about how to help offset our medical and travel expenses with some kind of fundraiser.  My search didn't go further than our Nevus Outreach community when I found Riley Mitchell's cookbook fundraiser.  I don't know how I can even say that "I" found Riley's cookbook because I know that it with the Lord who led me to his family.  Since Riley earned his angel wings, we've been blessed to see God's hand in weaving our families together in more ways than just our cookbook fundraisers.  Through an incredible turn of events, we've learned that Riley's mom knew about Hope and had prayed for her long before we ever saw her or had any intention of adopting.  That's a story all its own and can only be described as a miraculous revelation of God's love for his children.  So we began pulling together family recipes for the cookbook that became known as "Sully's Snacks & S'more."

Fast forward through nearly 3000 copies of Sully's cookbook sold and many generous donations and Sully's out of pocket medical and travel have been covered 100%.  There's always been just enough.  The Lord has ALWAYS proved faithful.  And that brings us to now...

Choosing to adopt is more than just about loving a child.  Its a decision that impacts every aspect of your family life, especially financially.  Its no secret that adoption of any kind is expensive.  When Carl and I made the choice to adopt, we did so knowing that we would be making sacrifices of many kinds in order to pay the ransom for a child.  Every precious gift comes with a costly price tag.  Look at the price our Savior paid for us...and he found us worthy.  If we are all worthy of His ultimate sacrifice, then trusting his provision and saving a little more and working a little harder is EXACTLY what we should be doing in order to care for one of his beloved children through the act of adoption.  We have a plan to pay for our adoption that includes savings, working extra (I'm providing B to 3 services for again), a loan that we've haven't accessed yet in the process (thank goodness) and saving any "extra" we can through consignment, less spending, more couponing and on and on.  Its going well right now, but the real expenses will begin with our adoption when our child comes home and that is where we're asking for help.

We don't know how many surgeries Hope will need to minimize her risk for melanoma to the greatest extent possible, but it will be just as many as Sully has had we know that for sure.  We are hopeful that Hope's cookbook fundraiser will be an answer to our prayers just as Sully's was.  We're praying that God will bless our efforts to care for Hope's needs and provide exactly what we will need emotionally and financially so that we'll always have "just enough."

Join us in prayer and send a recipe (or 10) our way as we begin putting together Hope's medical and travel expense (not adoption cost related) cookbook!  The goal will be to have the cookbook ready to be submitted by the time we travel to China and sent to the publishers shortly after she arrives home and can be photographed for her cookbook design.  Whether we sell one copy or one thousand, I just know that God has a special plan for our "Hope for the Holidays" cookbook and I can't wait to see His marvelous hand in it all.

Bring on the recipes!

Please send your recipes to me at my email address bethnagel@ymail.com or to Carl at nagel_carl@hotmail.com

797

After 64 days of waiting (plus 26 more for a grand total of 90 days!!! if you add in the wait time from our failure to include the correct money amount, Carl's job change and our home study update), our I800A has finally been approved and our 797 has been issued.  Don't get too excited because we still haven't received it in the mail yet, but we know that it was issued on January 12th.

No this is not our immigration officer, but too funny of a picture not to include.

This means that we have been approved by the USCIS (Homeland Security) to adopt a child from China and bring her into the US. It doesn't mean we've been approved to adopt Hope specifically.  That will come a little later.  For now, we will anxiously await that paper in the mail and get ready to do a fast turn around with the certification and authentication processes before our Dossier makes it to our agency on its last stop before making its way to the officials in China who will make our dream come true...eventually.

One step closer, but still so far away.

Please pray for our process as we make progress in the coming weeks.  We're going to be running into some speed bumps on all kinds of levels.  The mail may be slow due to tomorrow's holiday, state certification may be postponed due to former governor Janklow's funeral, authentication may take longer than usual due to Chinese New Year and Embassy closure on January 23rd and 24th and who knows what else will pop up.

Don't Get Me Started...

I have had it up to here (visualize me making a strong gesture marking a place WAY above my head) with USCIS aka Homeland Security.  I'm tired of waiting for an approval that should've only taken...well, a couple of days but averages are all over the place from 35-75 days.  We are on day 63 in our wait to get approval from our government to bring an adopted child from a Hague Convention country into the US (at least that's what I understand it to be).  

This approval is absolutely necessary for our paperwork to progress, but its driving me bananas!!!  The form we filled out and sent in way back in October is the same one we're waiting to get an approval on now...still.  Of course, it started out as my math error and shorting them 15.00 which resulted in a two week delay and then Carl's job loss and gain and a homestudy update and now since 11/9/11 we've been waiting.  We found out we hadn't even been assigned an officer until last Friday, the 6th of January.  I just cannot believe how pathetic this system is.  I mean, come on, we were checked out by our state government, by the FBI and now we've been waiting longest of all on homeland security.  I now can see why we had the tragedy of 9-11 more clearly  There is ZERO communication between our government agencies.  Ugh!!!!  I've been beginning to see some approvals come through for other families who sent their paperwork to homeland security after we did so now I'm really starting to get irked.  Our officer responded to my email this morning saying that our file would be reviewed today and if she didn't need any further information it would be approved and we would receive it in 1-3 business days.  I'm not holding my breath, but that hasn't stopped me checking my emails constantly to see if a Fed Ex tracking notice has come through today.  Even if we needed to provide them with more information about one thing or another, it won't be long now and we will be approved.  I guess I just needed to get a little  frustration off my chest.  

IF  WHEN we finally get our approval, known as the 797, in our hands we will make a copy of the document, sign it, get it notarized and FedEx Express it to Pierre to be certified (verification of the notary/document ) at the office of the Secretary of State, then it will be FedEx Expressed back to us using our prepaid envelope.  As soon as that document gets back into our hands we will turn around and put it in another envelope with a big check to send to a courier in Washington, DC who will hand deliver our document to the Secretary of State's office to be authenticated and then on to the Embassy of China to be authenticated.  Then, that super important final document we need before we can send all of our things to China will arrive back in our hands and we will immediately take it, along with a couple pounds of paper (or the equivalent of 6 months of blood, sweat and tears), to the Fed Ex drop to be sent to the Holt China Program headquarters in Eugene, OR before being sent to CH*NA!!!

That is all the further I can wrap my head around at this point, but after we get our Dossier (the equivalent of 6 months of blood, sweat and tears) to Ch*na there are some exciting steps that will take place.  We'll still have a long wait until we travel, but things will at least be moving.  I'm tired of waiting on my government.  Its ridiculous!

Now that I've gotten all my grumpies out, I would really appreciate if you would pray for a speedy approval of our 797.  It should've been mailed today, but doesn't look like it was.  Embracing this wait has become increasingly difficult.  Trusting God's timing is hard.  Really hard.  Shopping for my girl while I wait has gotten...really easy.  Well, actually its gotten about as ridiculous as homeland security :)  Bring on the 797!!!

A Princess Am I

"I am a child of royal birth.

My Father is King of heaven and earth.

My spirit was born in the courts on high.

A child beloved, a princess am I."

~Anna Johnson

Are you mommy's princess, too?  Oh yes you are little one.

Long-awaited. Beautiful. Treasured. Loved.

Her 2nd Christmas

It looks as if Hope had an absolutely wonderful Christmas!  I found photos of her on her foster home's website.  Here are a couple of them, but you can see more of Hope and all the children here in a scrapbook they posted.

Can you see the love?  We can.  Hope is so very loved right now.  Its a beautiful thing.  It scares me a little bit.  I know she is going to grieve so greatly the love she's had all these months and months when we take her away from all she's known.  Hope won't know anything, but love and security and we will be taking that all away to give her a new life in a foreign land with crazy brothers and a mommy and daddy who are...well, we're crazy too.  Lord, prepare her heart for us.  Prepare us for her.

She had a wonderful Christmas and thanks to many sponsors all of the children in her foster home did too, but they still need families.  Could one of them be yours?  Next Christmas there will be one less!

15 months & some rambling

Today our little girl is 15 months old.  When I first laid eyes on her she was only 6 months.  She's growing up so fast it hurts. The good Lord has worked long and hard in our lives since then and now here we are, 9 months later, anxiously waiting to bring her home to our family forever.  In some ways it seems like just yesterday when Hope came flooding into our lives and in other ways it seems like years. I have faith that God's timing is perfect, but its easy to get caught up in the "why's" when I start to dwell on all the 1st we're missing in her life.  I have to be very intentional about trusting Him on this one because I want her home and I want her home NOW, but I know there is a reason much greater than just the nonsense of bureaucratic red tape holding up the timing of things.

For instance, we know that God's hand carefully chose our adoption timeline to coincide with the conclusion of Sully's surgeries.  He knows that we emotionally and financially could not meet the needs of our family as a whole while having two children going through this process simultaneously, on top of a Lincoln's needs and attention...oh, and our marriage :)  It is also looking very promising that we will be traveling during the summer when I am off from work.  That is ALL God.  I have very little leave time available as a teacher and so when it comes to surgeries and babies and all that good stuff we work very hard to "plan" around the summer months.  If it works out to bring Hope home in June or early July, we can be certain that is a special blessing from God...no detail is too small or too big for him.

Today also marks day 51 of our wait for the USCIS (Homeland Security) to approve our family to adopt from China, in other words, approve us to bring an immigrant into the country.  This really should not take this long.  Its ridiculous.  Its one thing to wait on China for approvals, but its a whole different ball game waiting for your own government...especially when we've already been "checked out" by the FBI, our state government, our home study agency, six references and who knows who else.  Its frustrating, but necessary...I guess.  I've called a number of times and even though our paperwork has been in their hands since November 9th we still have not been assigned an officer.  This is your tax payer dollars at work friends.  Did I mention that this approval costs a ridiculous amount of money...to the tune of 800 dollars!?!?

So we wait some more.  If the averages prove correct, we are looking at another 10-14 day wait for our approval.  Once that comes there will be a fury of activity on our end and then some big, exciting news with letters like DTC, LID, LOI, PA that will all happen in a matter of a few short weeks.  I'll explain all about those things as they come around.  For now, say our prayer for our little 15 month old and for our 797.  We want our hands on both of those things...like YESTERDAY!!

Missing You at Christmas

Its Christmas Eve and its wonderful to be home at the farm, spending time with family and relaxing, but there's a big piece missing this year.  Ever since I saw Hope back in April, she's taken a piece of my heart.    Now that we've been matched as Hope's family its a million times worse.  A part of our family is half way around the world and it hurts.  It hurts to know she's ours and we couldn't get on a plane and bring her home 3 months ago.  I just want her to know what my arms feel like.  I want her to know what its like to go to the farm to celebrate Christmas, to see Grandma J's Christmas lights, to meet Great Grandpa Roling tonight.  I want you home.



I found the most beautiful song "Merry Christmas" by Third Day that writes about waiting for your child from China over Christmas.  I HAD to make a slideshow of special photos with that song.  Get your kleenex ready...

Another photo slideshow by Smilebox

This will be your last Christmas without us baby girl.  Merry Christmas, Hope!


We are about a month away from getting our paperwork to China, also known as Dossier to China.  This is a HUGE step in the right direction.  We are anticipating travel in summer of 2012 to bring Hope home forever.

Christmas for Hope!

A piece of my heart is in China this Christmas.  The only things that are keeping my heart full are knowing that Carl and I will have a blast with the boys this year and that God has Hope wrapped in his loving arms so tight that I can feel them from all the way around the world.  I've had the house decorated for Christmas for a *few* weeks now (gasp, I know...it was just after Halloween).

The thing is....we're 7000 miles away from Hope and I didn't want any problems with the mail getting hung up through customs and not make it to her in time for Christmas AND I just couldn't send off her gifts and the gifts for her foster home brothers and sisters and ayis (nanny's) without having a picture of them under our tree.  There.  That's my wonderful excuse reason for decorating early.  She's worth it.  Sooo worth it!!

One full box was stuffed full of clothes and toys for the foster home that we used a vacuum sealed bag to maximize space in the flat rate shipping box, two were filled with gifts for Hope and one was filled with gifts for her caregivers.  I hope that our gifts will be a blessing to all the children and the loving people caring for Hope while she waits for us.  We found out this week that they've already safely made their way to China so Hope's Christmas is all ready for her.  I can't wait to see if the foster home will have pictures of all the kids opening their gifts on their blog.  We'll just have to wait and see!

We had such a wonderful time shopping for Hope.  Oh, it was so fun to hit the "pink" aisles :)

We carefully wrapped Hope's special gifts and got her a special "H" stocking to match the "C", "B", "L" and "S" hanging in our living room.  But the most important gift I bought was this...

Hope's very first baby doll!

I looked high and low to find Hope her very first baby doll which wouldn't have been so tricky if I hadn't been adamant that it couldn't be just any old ordinary baby doll, it HAD to be an Asian beauty just like our girl.  When I found this FAO Schwartz doll, the only Asian doll in our Toys R Us, it brought me to tears.  Its perfect!

Lincoln thought it was pretty cool, too.  He's sure she'll love it and I am too.

My mom couldn't resist shopping for Hope and added a few special things.  Sandals, new socks, a cute little outfit and a special book "It's Time to Sleep, My Love" by Nancy Tillman with the coordinating panda bear.

And then are the gifts from mom, dad and the boys.  New clothes, books, a puzzle,her baby doll and new jammies...

and a completely impractical, but absolutely stunning Christmas dress.  This is actually the dress that I would love to have her wear when we go for our consulate appointment that makes our adoption of her official in China, if it still fits by then.

I also have an extra special idea for this dress....

Do you want in on a little secret?

Of course, you do.

This dress might just end up being what my little princess wears when we take photos for HER fundraiser cookbook :)  That's right!  We're toying around with doing a cookbook fundraiser for Hope as well.  If I can pull it off, it'll be a collection of holiday recipes and traditions (all holidays, not just Christmas) from all of YOU. I'm thinking a great title would be "Hope for the Holidays."  What do ya think?

Hope is going to need even more surgeries than Sully has and our out of pocket expenses per year have now more than doubled.  I know God will make a way, but we'd be foolish not to start thinking now about how we're going to take care of her medical expenses and the cost of travel involved.  Hope's first surgery is scheduled for August 2nd, 2012 if she's home by then and I pray she is!

So this is where YOU come in :)

If you would like to share a recipe or a holiday tradition that your family has (even just a few sentences or an idea of what your family does to celebrate any particular holiday), I would LOVE it if you would send them my way!  I'll be collecting recipes and traditions for a while, but what better time to send them my way now when you already have them out to make all your favorite holiday recipes :)

The funds we've raised with Sully's cookbook over the last 2 years have been an absolute blessing beyond words.  God has provided in miraculous ways and we have no reason to doubt that he'll take care of Hope, too.  God is so good!! And something tells me.."Hope for the Holidays," Hope's medical fundraiser cookbook will be pretty good, too :)

You can send your recipes and traditions to:  

bethnagel@ymail.com

Beth Nagel

413 W 8th St

Dell Rapids, SD  57022

Fingerprint Appointments!

Today we got a special little appointment letter in the mail from the USCIS-Homeland Security with a time and date for our biometric fingerprints to be taken.  This is pretty exciting since it means we're moving in the right direction with our 797 approval.  Oh, how I want that approval so we can get the last of our paperwork authenticated and send everything to CHINA!!!  The sooner we get things there, the sooner our baby girl will be coming home :)  A little birdie told me that the gifts we sent her arrived on the other side of the world.  To think that this is the LAST Christmas she'll spend without fills me to the brim with joy.  Its gonna be a rough holiday, but the best is yet to come!

Thankful for Hope!

I've been seeing a lot of talk on Facebook of 30 days of Thanksgiving.  Of course, the idea is to take time to think about those things you are most thankful for.  Our lives have been richly blessed this past year in health and in love, especially by our two little boys and the little girl who has rocked our world!

2Corinthians 9:15 Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!

We sent off four special boxes of things for Hope's foster home, her caregivers, her "brothers" and "sisters" and for her for Christmas this week.  I know its early, but I didn't want anything to get in the way of them making it there on time.  I want our girl to have a wonderful Christmas, even though we're on the other side of the world and I know that she will :)  The "Everyone is Thankful for ME!" shirt was tucked in with the gifts because I just couldn't pass it up.  Its so true.  EVERYONE is thankful for Hope in our house and amongst all of our family and friends.  She is so very loved already.  What an incredible blessing to wrap our heads around this thanksgiving!

1Chronicles 16:34 Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.

1. I am thankful for the internet that allowed me that first glimpse of her sweet face (and many more to follow).
2.  I'm thankful for Hope's two more notable birthmarks on her face, sharing with me the insight that she, too, was a perfectly polk-a-dotted baby.
3.  I'm thankful for the Doshier family, who met Hope at her orphanage and followed the Lord's leading to get her the care that she would need and to name her with such a beautiful name.  I'm thankful for their willingness to not only advocate for Hope, but to financially sponsor her at her foster home.
4.  I'm thankful for Hope's birthmother, who chose life for our sweet girl.  Without her, we wouldn't have Hope in our lives...literally.
5.  I'm thankful for her foster home and the phenomenal care she is receiving while she waits for us.
6.  I'm thankful for my adoption as a child of God and the beautiful inheritance He has for me as a coheir with Jesus Christ, or should I say heiress :) (LOVE Beth Moore's the Inheritance...the Bible study I'm doing right now!)
7.  I'm thankful for the miracle of Hope's referral on September 27th, 2011.
8.  I'm thankful for a husband who has joined me in my passion for adoption.
9.  I'm thankful for the two little boys who pray for their sister and share in our excitement at the process of bringing their MeiMei (little sister) home.
10.  I'm thankful for the way God opened our eyes to the world of Congenital Melanocytic Nevi through the birth of Sully.  I can't believe I'm saying it, but its true.  I'm thankful for Sully's birth mark!  Thank you, Jesus for polk a dotted babies :)

I800a: Back in Texas

We received a notice on Tuesday, November 15th that our I800a application was received at the lock box back down in Texas and is being forwarded to the National Benefits Center.  This is the farthest we've gotten with our paperwork so things are looking pretty sweet right about now :)  What happens next is that we will wait for a notice indicating who the immigration officer will be that is assigned to our file and when our fingerprint appointment is scheduled for.  Then, we will go in (before our scheduled date and time), get down on our hands and needs and beg them to give us an earlier appointment.  There are no guarantees, but an earlier appointment MAY mean an earlier approval of this paperwork granting us the coveted "797" approval, verifying our suitability to adopt from a Hague Convention Country.  The wait time between receipt and approval is runs anywhere from 6 weeks to 3 months. Holt may have to do some leg work for us with Hope's referral if we can't make it in time for our December 27th DTC date.  Its not looking too promising at this point of meeting that time line, BUT anything is possible through Christ.  We will not be defeated by looking at the calendar.  The only timing that matter's is HIS and its always impeccable even if it doesn't make sense to us.  At this early stage in the game, our best estimates regarding when we will to travel and bring Hope home suggest May-July as the most likely window, but I'm praying for a Mother's Day miracle.  Won't you join me?  :)

After the 797, approval what's next?

We will expedite our certification and authentication of 3 documents at the Embassy in Washington, D.C. which should take about a week and then overnight our Dossier to Holt's headquarters in Oregon.  They will carefully look over everything and get our DTC (Dossier to China).  HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT!!

From there, things will be a whirlwind for a few weeks as the legalities of obtaining a Log In Date, submitting our Letter of Intent for Hope and receiving our Provisional Approval to adopt Hope are received relatively quickly and then we begin a long wait to receive our official Letter of Acceptance which has been taking anywhere from 28-125 days!!!

Once that LOA comes, our estimated travel time will be narrowed in pretty well and we'll be up, up and away to bring our little angel home within about 5-8 weeks.  It gives me butterflies just thinking about it. 

Authentication: Round 1

There was a very important Fed Ex delivery today!  Our first batch of documents to be authenticated in Washington, D.C. at the State Department and the Embassy of Ch*na arrived.  The authentication process is simply a way of making a formal document, even more formal than it already was by verifying that it is a true original a fourth time (signed 1st, notarized 2nd, certified 3rd, authenticated 4th).  Here's what authentication looks like...

The process is getting more and more exciting as we get closer and closer to sending our completed dossier (aka important paperwork for adopting a child from Chi*a) off to the Far East.  This shipment of documents included everything we need for our dossier except Carl's new employment letter, an updated financial statement reflecting his new job and our approved 797 which is still in process with the USCIS.

So now we wait some more...

We wait on:

1. Hearing when our fingerprint appointment will be with the USCIS (we should hear in 2-3 weeks when that appointment will be, maybe less)

2. Receiving approval of our I800a application, granting us a 797 which grants Carl and I approval to adopt from China on the US side of things (praying this will be sometime around mid December, but who knows)

3. Sending off the last batch of documents to be certified in Pierre, SD and then to be authenticated in Washington, DC.  That will be the LAST step before we turn over the biggest part of our adoption paperwork.  After that Dossier is in Ch*na, we will still have a long wait in front of us but the worst of the paperwork is over.  That, my friends, will be a day to celebrate!!

In the meantime:

We're doing a bit of shopping for our girl, her nannies and her friends at her foster home for Christmas.  We have a very strict budget right now which makes things a bit tricky but Hope is going to have a wonderful Christmas with lots of special little things from all of us, even the boys.  We're wrapping and getting ready to send them off very soon.

Please pray for a very quick 797 approval.  It is taking around 60 days for this process from receipt to approval and we really don't have that kind of time if we are going to make it with our goal of getting our DTC by December 27th.  Praying that Holt has a plan in place if we're a little behind that Dec. 27th date.  I'm sure that they do and if not...well, I don't know.  God knows we don't have a back up plan.  Hope's our baby girl.  He's our plan and this is His story so we'll just keep givin' him the glory.  Can I get an AMEN??  :)  Authentication Round 1-Done!

National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption month.  I'll be completely honest that I've never observed this special month before.  I didn't even know it was coming up this month until I noticed so many blog posts from other adoptive families recognizing the orphan crisis in our world today.   The truth of the matter is that I am just now beginning to understand the depth of the problem of children needing families in this world.  Did you know there are 147 million babies in the world without families right now?  I didn't then, but now I do.  When our hearts were called to adopt, all we knew for sure was that we loved God and He called us to love this little girl.

And now here we are just six months after we saw this little picture and God has opened door after door after door to lead us to her and her to our home.  We love Hope.  Today Hope is just one of 147 million, but soon there will be "One Less" (cue the song "One Less" Matthew West) and she is going to make our family bigger and better than ever.  We aren't on a mission to change the world, but we're ready to do our part right now for this child.


If my I had heard just a year ago about the many children, both domestically and internationally, that needed families I'm sure my response would've been lack-luster.  My eyes and my heart were closed to the world's need and to the love that I most certainly had to share with a child grown not in my womb, but in my heart.  I had no idea that this is the special path we'd be heading down to follow God's lead, but He did and now we're "celebrating" our first Adoption Awareness Month with a whole new perspective.  Adoption is going to change our lives forever.  It already has.  I guess I just want to encourage those of you who may be feeling that gentle nudging on your heart for orphans.  Don't be afraid to step out in faith if your heart is drawn toward adoption.  Maybe God's plan for your family doesn't involve a journey around the world to a little one, but instead He will open doors to mentoring at risk youth, foster care, orphan ministries in your church or supporting adoptive families.


Happy Adoption Awareness month!!!  Just another month closer to bringing our baby home :)  


James 1:27 “Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for the orphans and widows in their troubles  and refuse to let the world corrupt us.”